Navigating the Holidays as Co-Parents: Finding Joy, Balance, and Peace
The holidays are often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for many co-parents, they can also be one of the most complicated. Schedules shift, emotions run high, and expectations—from kids, extended family, and even ourselves—can feel overwhelming. At The Coparent Collective, we believe that families come in many forms, and that every version deserves support, celebration, and space to thrive. Here are some suggestions for make the holidays special for your family this year.
1. Remember the “Why” Behind the Season
It’s easy to get pulled into negotiations about timing, traditions, or travel, but the heart of the holidays is connection. Whether your family structure has changed recently or you’re seasoned co-parents with a rhythm that works, centering the children’s experience can help guide decisions with calm and compassion.
2. Plan Early, Communicate Clearly
Holiday scheduling doesn’t have to feel like crisis management. Early conversations—grounded in respect—can reduce confusion and conflict. Focus on what’s workable rather than what’s ideal. And remember: perfect plans don’t make perfect holidays. Presence does. And don’t forget the value of a shared calendar!
3. Create New Traditions Without Competing
Two homes mean two opportunities for celebration. Kids don’t compare holiday magic—they absorb it. Whether it’s cookie-baking in one home and movie marathons in the other, or shared moments like buying the tree together, small rituals can become meaningful anchors for children during transitions. Be grateful that you child is surrounded by lots of love and is exposed to so many great activities and traditions.
4. Share the Load (and the Credit)
Co-parenting during the holidays can sometimes feel like a juggling act—winter concerts, teacher gifts, travel logistics, meal planning. Collaboration doesn’t need to be about perfection; it’s about partnership. A simple “thank you” between co-parents goes a long way toward lowering tension and modeling kindness for your children. And remember, you don’t have to be at everything or do everything. It likely you shared the load during your relationship, if you can, share the load as co-parents.
5. Make Space for Your Own Emotions
The holidays can stir up grief, joy, nostalgia, frustration, or all of the above. It’s normal. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel, and to prioritize rest where you can. Community—like the one here at The Coparent Collective—exists so none of us have to navigate this season alone.
6. Keep the Long Game in Mind
Children remember how the holidays felt, not which parent got which day in which year. Peaceful co-parenting, even when imperfect, lays the foundation for warm holiday memories that last far beyond childhood.
However your family celebrates this season, know that you are doing something incredibly meaningful: creating stability, connection, and love across households. The holidays may never be simple, but with intention and cooperation, they can be beautiful.
From all of us at The Coparent Collective, we wish you a joyful, gentle, and love-filled holiday season.
