Sunshine, Schedules, & Shared Time: A Co-Parent’s Guide to Summer
As we embark on the chaotic and fun-filled time of year that many parents have affectionately begun to refer to as ‘Maytember,’ the Co-Parent Collective is here with some tips on surviving the end of year squeeze.
Clarity: having clarity on the schedule is essential for you, your co-parent, and your children. Kids thrive on routine and expectability; ensuring that they know when they’re with each parent, which camp they’re attending when, and if/when they are going on vacation will all be helpful in keeping your family unit running smoothly over the summer. Depending on the age of your children, you can send them a calendar invite, create visual representations like an actual calendar with pictures or words, and repeated conversations to ensure that your child has a sense of the rhythm of the summer.
Supplies: take time each week to make sure you and your co-parent are on the same page about what supplies or items each child might need weekly that are different from the school year. For example, it could be helpful for each of you to review (whether separately or together, depending on your relationship and access schedule) the start/end times of weekly camps, what items they might need (e.g. towels, extra clothes, art supplies, lunches, etc), and how you are going to get items back from or to each other.
Recognize that fun can also be destabilizing: While summer break is a fun, happy time for most kids, it can also be incredibly destabilizing without the cadence of the school year to keep moving them along. If you are experiencing more tantrums, backtalk, fussiness, or anxiety, there is some level of normalcy there! Talking about how fun can also be unsettling is a really great way to broach the idea to children about holding two different experiences or emotions at one time. We can have fun AND things can be a little wonky.
Release the pressure: Social media can impart significant pressure on parents to “Enjoy every moment!” while also reminding us that “You only have 18 summers with your kids!” Looking at every day, week, vacation, or interaction with the intent of optimizing each moment is exhausting and turns parenting into a pressure cooker. Try to be mindful of enjoying and recognizing the positives while also letting go of the need to fill every moment to maximum capacity.
And remember to always pack your sunscreen! :)
Please feel free to reach out to the Coparent Collective with any questions or issues about managing the summertime chaos, along with the regular year chaos.
